Writing fail of epic proportions

[bradspyjamas]

When will I learn that a draft does not a finished work make? 
I started writing The Weight of Knowledge over two months ago and posted the first chapter only when I'd written all three chapters and finished editing 1 & 2.  I posted those two pretty quickly in succession, certain that I'd be able to iron the wrinkles out of chapter 3 in good time.
Yeah and oh look, flying pigs!
I just can't make it read properly and it doesn't fit with the first two chapters at all. I know part of it is that I'm working with really triggery material (describing how John feels when he realises he's put on weight, facing up to why he was able to hide it from himself, why Sherlock didn't mention anything, how he feels about it, what his own weight gain means to him and how he feels about John's) and that makes me nervous in case I upset someone (me not included although it hasn't been easy writing it - which was half the purpose in the first place). 
Then there's the damn writing style I was so eager to try out in the first place - works brilliantly for chapters 1 & 2 but it's strangling what I'm trying to do in 3, making things sounds flippant when they really shouldn't.
I've re- written it so many times I want to scream and kizzia has beta'd and even written her own version in an attempt to help me out (which is the one I'm currently playing with as she somehow managed to get all the good bits from my versions and string them together in her own inimitable fashion) but I still grates on my nerves and I refuse to post something I'm not happy with.
I just want it gone! 
Do I post and be damned or spend today trying to fix it (kizzia has offered moral support via Skype)? Answers on a postcard please :)

Comments

Things to Try

[azriona.livejournal.com]

So there's this scene in a fic that I haven't even started posting yet, and I was having trouble writing it, because it was somewhat triggery for me. Basically, I was going to give John a seizure, and I really didn't want to write it, because Andrew had a seizure over a year ago and for some reason, every time I went up against John's, I just...stalled. Couldn't write a word. Eventually, I did. I'm still not quite sure how, but it was a combination of the following (which will fit on a postcard, even if the background does not):

1. Ponder.
2. Speedwrite.
3. Don't think too hard.
4. Remember you have permission to not write it.

Will elaborate if you want.

[kizzia.livejournal.com]

As I said earlier, I'm more than happy to bash ideas around if that is what is required - and please don't feel obliged to my mock up of that chapter, it really was just a suggestion.
I'm around all day if you need me, hun, so just call.

[ladyprydian.livejournal.com]

Do you want fresh eyes on it? I'm offering as I haven't read the other chapters of that fic so it will all be new to me.

If you want to yes, send me a message and I'll get back to you with me email address.

The Dreaded Chapter Three

[impulsereader.livejournal.com]

Oh my. I'm terribly behind. How is all this going?